THIS, is hunting!

March 30, 2007

rat kill

Eat your hearts out all ya’ll bigshot hunters back home, with your fancy camo and your compound bows; your hoity toidy wild turkeys, whitetail deer and pheasant, your hunting cabins, your heated deer blinds and your acres and acres of woods. Welcome to city hunting, bitches!

This mamma rat been living in my backyard for 6 months. Finally put a live trap out there and caught a small rat earlier this week, but this one was too large (and too smart) for that. So at dusk, I gave the trusty airgun 10 pumps plus one for good luck, and waited at the second floor window. Once he came out, it was too dark to see my sights, so I channeled my Dad the superhunter/buckslayer, and patienly squeezed the trigger: One shot to the head, dead instantly.

One of the reasons I moved away from Michigan (I tell people I was kicked out) is because I don’t enjoy hunting, and that’s what EVERY male Michigander does for fun. I refuse to kill things (other than rats, mice and starlings) and I don’t particularly like guns. But I gotta say, some of that kill instinct is still in me. It’s waay down in there, but it’s there.

Dad would be proud- his eldest isn’t a sissy city boy after all!



  1. I forgot to mention that if I WERE typical Michigan hunter, I would have gutted it and either kept its tail for a trophy (Jeff D. did this) and thrown it in the freezer just in case someone might wanna eat it later… and I WOULDN’T have worn a rubber glove.

  2. We all know Jeff D isn’t Typical. I know its been a long time since you lived in Mich but I don’t think you have ever seen a RAT like that here.. It must be nice knowing what kind of wild life you have crawling in and out of your house on nice warm Summer night.

    Nice beard and gun you redneck 😛

  3. I’m coming over tomorrow, that is a keeper! Put the body in a paper bag then into the freezer. I will ger her stuffed. She will make a nice addition to my collection of dead animals.

  4. ^^ He’s serious, folks. Ex roommate. I could write an entire blog about his life. He carried a mouse tail in his wallet for months.. and used to take it out and tickle his lips with it when he watched tv. Then he’d try to share my bowl of popcorn. No shit.

  5. Jeff- I told you that you were not allowed to bring home any more dead animals!!!!!!!

  6. That rough-and-tumble city boy still uses a nitrile glove to pick up a rat by the tail. Pick it up with your teeth, Thinman, and then this Tennesseean will give you some respect.

  7. all I can say is….nice shirt!!! Looks like Iron City beer sales are going to go through the roof in MI!

  8. Dude,
    Have Jeff stuff-her…and then mount it on a plack and hang it in the living room (just make sure the lice are gone)—“poor-widdle-rat!!!”.


  9. How manly are you with that fairy rubber glove? I understand why you blocked your face now.

  10. And too, people who like the rat thingy, will probably like this; http://www.dumbr.com/2399_Pythons-have-no-mercy.html

    — your welcome

  11. how much do you charge and where can i gets me a shovel like the one he gots in his mouth? Why did you have those rubber gloves in the home anyway?

  12. Them’s good eatin. Way to provide for the family, man.

  13. Folks it’s true: Every man from Michigan is a hunter and every woman likes cross stich (that’s why I got out). Our peeps did get together to consider throwing Matt out, but he beat them to the punch. Guess he showed them who’s the mighty one. Go THINMAN.

  14. I am from Michigan and I’ve never gone hunting.

    The biggest rats live on the east coast. Call it karma.

  15. We have bigger rat’s in Detroit than that……and their darker to……go figure…..

  16. I would have used a high-cal fire-arm……sheee’it, and Ewe woo’dnt hav nuttin butt’da tail….bam bam bam, one dead chicken…..oops mouse

  17. skinny will you please correct all Jd’s gram’er

  18. so…. does it taste like chicken?……will you please post the reciept?

  19. Good clean one-shot kill. We knew you had it in ya all along. Mail me a case of Iron City, willya? And some Yeungling.

  20. By the way, I carry rubber gloves with me when I go hunting. I’ll eat ’em after they’re cooked, but I’m not too keen on digging through guts with my bare hands.

  21. I got a 3rd rat- but in a trap, not by gun. Had no idea there were so many in my patio! I’m getting a cat.


    • Please don’t kill them.

  22. Me thinks you need to read, Everything that you wanted to know about Hunting

  23. […] other reason is the hunting. I’ve mentioned before that I’m no hunter. Hell, I’ve never even filleted a fish. But it’s so ingrained […]

  24. I hate You!!!

  25. […] last week just to hunt the bastards. [By the way-save the hate mail- I recieved a bunch of it the last time I posted my hunting excursion]. keep in mind that I really am a pacifist or whatever- I don’t enjoy […]

  26. This is my favorite post.

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